Rebellion
by Idk Anymore Tho
Summary: Well, everything's been screwed over. The evil Anvil God booted his goody-two-shoes brother off the throne, and now Transformice is in peril. Who's going to have to save the day? The Cafers, of course! Filled with a lot of inside jokes, cursing, gore, and cynical opinions, if you're looking to waste your time then this is the book.
1. Well, Somebody Died I Guess

**Chapter 1**

"Chug, chug, chug, chug!"

The hoarse chants of the assembled rodents in the tavern were accompanied by paws slamming on tables and tails thumping the ground. A few torches were lit, sending dim light across the cracked wooden floorboards and illuminating a hefty rat with a snake tattoo on his left arm swigging down mug after mug of cheap beer. The smell of the alcohol burned in the nose of a large female rodent who entered inside, her ears flat and tail twitching.

"It was a bad idea to go in here, Numiio. The mouse we're looking for couldn't possibly be here," she growled to the mouse trailing just behind her. The two of them were trying to act as inconspicuous as possible, but even their years of extensive training could not hide the way they grouched at each other.

"Don't be an idiot, Riane. Think logically for once. Drunken bandits and rogues are the perfect people to get information out of. They'll tell you anything and then some as long as you're pointing a knife at them."

Ignoring his statement, Riane focused on the scene unfolding around her. "I will never understand men, especially the sewer rat kind like these guys," she muttered irritably as she stepped further into the mass of growling and snapping rodents. Her nose wrinkled up as they arm wrestled with each other and told exaggerated stories of adventures that had probably never happened through dizzy hiccups. Numiio drifted off to the side, trying to listen in on a conversation between a bartender and a young gerbil who was probably not old enough to drink, while the female continued slipping through the mix. Suddenly, a large hand snatched her by the shoulder.

"Hey, beautiful, what's a new face like yours doing in this bar? Want me to buy you a drink? We can have it back at my place..."

"Oh, disgusting! I spent an hour washing my fur today!" Riane shrieked, slapping away the burly rat's hand from her caramel colored gingerbread fur. It was indeed quite pretty, rare markings in this day and age, but nevertheless she considered her entire hide now fouled until she had a good bath. The drunkard looked taken aback for a moment, but then his glossy reddish eyes flashed with anger. Uh oh.

"What? You've made a big mistake. No girl rejects Tiny," he said with a guttural growl in his throat, standing up from his chair and turning every head in their direction. Riane huffed- of course his name was Tiny. Well, this was just great.

"Guess I'll be the first, then. I'm just gonna... go..."

She took just a few steps backwards before bumping into the round belly of another rat. She whipped around in another direction, but another one was waiting to stop her. Next thing she knew, she was surrounded. Her eyes widened in surprise. For a bunch of guys who had just had ten too many mugs of beer, they moved quickly. A thin smile played at her muzzle, however. She was far quicker than they ever would be...

"Bring her to me!" Tiny ordered, baring his teeth as the rest of his cronies launched at her. Something metallic flashed in the hazy air, and in an instant the female was on the outside of the rat ring. Confused gasps came from some as the largest among them clutched in vain at his stomach, stabbed straight through.

"Riane, you idiot!" Numiio's voice was infuriated as he flung himself into the fray, drawing a dozen throwing knives from who knows where and tossing them in every direction. The tavern had turned to complete pandemonium, with the more wise leaving as quickly as they could and the others joining in just for the sake of a fight.

"Well, _I'm_ sorry that a sweaty old guy with a bunch of tattoos hit on me!" Riane snapped in defense, twisting around to drive the blade of her thin dagger through the heart of an approaching rat.

"You shouldn't have been walking through the heart of a bar anyways!" the larger male replied as he ducked under the clumsy swing of one particularly large brute.

This arguing continued for some time as more and more of Tiny's minions poured into the small tavern, likely called from the depths of some murky swamp nearby. They pushed and shoved against each other, pressing the two mice so close together that eventually they were back to back. This arrangement enraged both of them to the point that they were chopping down rat after rat at a rate so constant that the others were beginning to trip over bloody carcasses. Slowly but certainly, they stopped charging blindly and began to back away instead.

"Ohhhhh, so you two are sweethearts already? A shame both of you are so unhelpful- I'd have liked to at least keep the girl alive," Tiny declared, appearing from behind two other cronies as they slowly started to back off. His long tongue trailed over the two stained fangs at the front of his muzzle, one gruesomely chipped from some past brawl, and a cruel smile spread across his scarred face.

"Sweethearts!?" Numiio and Riane both sputtered at once. But before the former could get even one more word out, the hotheaded female charged straight for Tiny, dagger flashing as she tried to carve it across his face. But he was far faster than any of the other sewer rats, and he ducked under the blade while one massive paw came down and wrenched the weapon away from her. A cry of alarm escaped Riane, and she tried to jab her feet into his stomach, but he had already snatched her up by both arms and lifted her high into the air. Cheers from the remaining rodents came all around as they moved quickly to restrain Numiio. But he was far too fast, and evaded a dozen of them before climbing up onto the top of the bar.

"Hold on, Riane!" the mouse cried out, hurrying to snatch up a fallen throwing knife. However, his paws were shaking so badly that he dropped it into the crowd instead.

"Come on, you rebellious soul. If you come down here nice and easy then I won't kill your girlfriend," Tiny sneered, still holding out the violently twisting and turning young mouse.

"Let go, you creepy bastard!" she said through gritted teeth, spitting in the rat's face. He tossed her over to a few others who quickly pinned her down, accompanied by a disgusted interjection of 'Ugh!'

Numiio knew that from the second he dropped the knife, he had lost. He certainly didn't doubt his hand to hand combat skills, but there were simply too many of them threatening Riane at once. The mouse hissed under his breath as he tossed a meaningful glance in his partner's direction. She still struggled against the brutes holding her, but the fire in her eyes was dimming. She nodded ever so slightly at his gaze. They both knew that only one mouse was going to finish the mission... and it would have to be him.

"Alright, I'll do it! But only under one condition," Numiio cried out, a look of anguish twisting across his face. Riane feigned shock at his response.

"And what would that be?" Tiny purred smugly, flicking the dagger he'd stolen around his fingers.

"Tell me which one of you is the mouse known as Cake09877. That's all."

The sewer rats all shared a look with one another. They evidently knew who this was. Tiny growled deeply, then glanced up at the poised rebel on the bar.

"She was here just a few minutes before you two entered. Not to get somethin' to drink, just introduced herself and told us she was lookin' for someone named Darin. We told her that we hadn't seen the fella and she ran off. Why do you want to know?"

"That's all the information I need, thank you. Take good care of Riane, okay?"

Numiio flashed one of his rare smiles tinged with melancholy in the female's direction. Riane returned it... and then he was gone. Furious shouts and roars broke out among the rats as they tried chasing after him, but the female knew he was far too intelligent to be caught when he didn't want to be. Soon they were all gone, save for one. Tiny turned towards her, anger seething through his very soul as he looked upon her. Riane cringed away, but it didn't do much. He merely thundered up to her, snatching her by the neck and slammed her up against the wooden walls of the tavern, which groaned against her weight.

"You're no feisty girl just seeking trouble, are you? The way you fought. That's not like how my men fight. You've gotten training, and the only place you can safely get training like that these days is in that pathetic little group of rebels who call themselves the Musketeers or something."

Riane smiled wryly, her eyes shining with pride. "The Cafers. I am a member of the noble force fighting for justice called the Cafers, and today you successfully caught one of us. It doesn't happen all the time. And it never reaches the ears of the likes of you, because nobody ever believes that a dead mouse was a rebel."

"You look pretty alive to me, girlie. And I'm takin' you straight to the nearest policeman for a cash reward, whether or not you like it," the gigantic rat sneered. But the female just laughed, choking on her own spit as he pressed her even harder against the wall.

"Ironic... never thought I'd die in a bar fight. I always presumed I'd go nobly in battle, or peacefully in my sleep years after Transformice was liberated. Oh well. So as long as Numiio finds Cake, my death will be worth it."

Before Tiny could question what she meant, Riane snatched a small purple pill from behind her ear and crammed it into her mouth. His eyes widened when he recognized the medicine as a powerful rat poison capable of killing in moments.

"No!" he roared, trying to force it out of her mouth. But her heartbeat had already come to almost a standstill. The rat stumbled away in fear as her body went limp, falling softly to the floor in a heap with her eyes half closed. There was a small smile on her muzzle, as if she relished in the fact that she had caused her own death. His eyes became larger than dimes.

"No..." he repeated, unable to believe himself.

As sirens approached the wrecked tavern with chairs sprawled everywhere and carcasses laying across tables, Tiny twisted around and fled, leaving behind the small body of a noble warrior who would not be forgotten so quickly.


	2. Well, This Isn't Going To Go Well

**Chapter 2**

Cake09877 had never known real adventure up until that fateful morning.

It had started off like any other in the ramshackle pet shop she and her three companions owned, barely standing up anymore after countless storms. Cake had gotten up and made her "bed" (more like a scratchy cot on the floor) in the small, secluded loft in the back room behind the counter, gone to check on the animals, and finally shaken Victhewolf and Bluecandyz awake. But while they tried to remember what dimension they were in, Cake noticed Darinp12's cot was empty. Odd. She was usually sleeping long after everyone else was up and working, but nobody scolded her because she was always so encouraging once she joined them.

Cake then decided to go take a more thorough look of the shop. Perhaps she was cleaning out some of the cages? But when she scampered back out and into the main room, filled with all sorts of hovering familiars clattering in their little prisons to be fed, Darin was absolutely nowhere to be seen; however, the door was wide open and letting in cold air. Fear suddenly settled itself in a tight knot in the back of the giraffe-colored mouse's throat. Of all the rodents to wander out alone in the capital city of the Anvil God's empire, it had to be sweet, naive Darin!

She'd alerted Vic and Blue of the problem, who'd promised to lock down the shop until she came back with wide eyes, wrapped her white scarf around her neck, and then shot off down the street. What could have possibly gotten into her? How had she opened the lock on the door without the keys, which were safely under her own pillow like always? Was she safe and warm? And most of all, where was she going?

Shop after shop told her that no, they hadn't seen a mouse with grey and white fur scampering down the street. An hour passed. Two. Three. The sun was crawling high up into the smoky sky by now, and Cake presently began to worry about her friends back at the store. What if they tried to come find _her_!? Oh, lord. She was losing hope quickly.

Then she saw the bar.

It was one of those typical ugly excuses for a drinking establishment, paint peeling off of the walls and terrible singing trailing out of the western-style swinging doors. She had stayed away from all of them, but this one was different. It seemed to draw her to it, despite never drinking anything alcoholic in her life. As she got closer, she could read the faded sign. _Grumpy's Bar and Beer Bar_. How original.

She peeked over the doors, and the smell of whiskey nearly blew her over. She almost walked away right then and there. But this was for Darin, not herself! She inched inside, trying not to hold her nose lest the gigantic brutes here think her disrespectful. She was shaking from ears to tail, but she tried her best anyways.

"E-excuse m-me!" she squeaked fearfully. The music stopped as if on cue, and every disgusting face was suddenly staring at her.

"H-h-have any of y-you seen m-my friend, D-Darin? She's g-got white and g-grey fur."

"Ain't seen no Darin 'round here, pretty lady," a huge sewer rat leered, yellow teeth glinting in the torchlight. Eek! She nearly passed out at the sight, but stood her ground.

"Ok-kay. Thank y-you," she mumbled, tripping over her own tail on the way out. As the jolly music flared up again, a paw grabbed her by the arm without warning. But before she could squeak for help, her attacker dragged her into the shadows of a table and bound up her mouth and paws with dirty cloth. Cake couldn't see him in the dim light, but his eyes flashed with a maniacal gleam, and he giggled so strangely as he stared at her that she felt sick to her stomach. This was bad. Very bad.

But as she felt herself being stuffed into a sack and losing oxygen, she was far more worried about what Vic, Blue, and Darin would do without her around to protect them from these things than her own safety.

* * *

"It's been a gajillion hours, Blue, and Cake and Darin still aren't back yet! What are we going to do?"

Victhewolf paced anxiously back and forth, her tail flicking around so violently that she knocked down the cash register (empty, mind you) and moving so quickly that she stepped on Blue's paw accidentally- three times in a row. While the other mouse painfully rubbed her foot, she leaned against the wall and stared at the tinted windows of their shop with the 'open' sign staring harshly back at them. it begged them to turn it around, to let strangers come into the shop while Cake was out searching for their friend. But she knew better. She glanced at Vic as she fell further and further into despair.

"We've gotta look for her," Blue finally said, her voice quiet and shaky.

"What did you say?" Vic replied, stopping in her tracks, eyes wider than ever.

"I said, we should look for her. Cake wouldn't leave us alone this long. Something's really wrong, Vic, and the sooner we start looking for her the fresher the clues will be," she continued, her voice strengthening a bit.

"Cake told us not to leave, though," the larger mouse fretted.

"Cake will be forgiving us for that when we save her life!"

There was silence in the pet shop, save for the squeaks of the familiars in their cages. After a solid minute, Vic finally let out a long, angry breath.

"This isn't going to go well, is it?" she muttered as she tottered into the back room for her backpack.

Blue shrugged and grinned.

"Probably not."


End file.
